by Jason Colins
DISCLAIMER -
This story contains scenes of intlation and sex, and is not reccomended for those who are under 18. I can't really stop those who are underage from reading, but don't expect to be on Santa's "good" list this year if you do!
AUTHOR'S NOTE -
Merry Christmas, everyone!
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PROLOGUE -
You may have heard of Rudoplh the red-nosed reindeer. Hell, who hasn't?
But there is another reindeer, one who has no song, no fame. Rudolph's older sister, Trudy.
This is the story of how she, one year, saved christmas for us all. Well, for me, at least.
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1 - The Beginning
It all started years before Rudolph's birth, before chritmas was saved by one reindeer's glowing shnozz.
At the north pole, there lived one particular elf who was very fond of causing trouble.
Little Kev the elf enjoyed playing tricks on others around him, no matter who.
Santa himself had been the target for a few of them. There was even one year that Chritmas had to be postponed a day because Little Kev had decided to cut the brake lines on Santa's sliegh. Another time, the mischevious elf had stolen all of Santa's "naughty and nice" lists.
Or the time when Kev took the sliegh out for a joyride just minutes before Santa needed to leave on his Christmas Eve run.
Santa was getting fed up with Little Kev, and the elf knew it.
Little Kev knew that his time at the North Pole was dwindling, so he planned one of the biggest pranks in elf history. One, I might add, that turned out to save Chritmas many, many years down the road.
Late one night, he crept inside one of the reindeer's homes. The home of Prancer and Vixen, a happily married couple who towed Santa's sleigh all over the world.
Now, Kev was a smart little elf, despite his stubborn attitude. He had whipped up a concoction in one of the workshop's factories, designed exactly for this prank.
Inside the small vial he had in his pocket, was a special compound used in the workshop to make rubber and plastic inflatable toys. He had mixed it with food coloring, and some other special ingredients.
He hid in the small house's closet until he heard Prancer say "Goodnight, Vixen, my love."
"Goodnight, dear." was the reply from Vixen.
Kev waited a few minutes, until he could be sure that the two reindeer were asleep.
He crept from the closet, and tiptoed to the kitchen.
Inside, he switched on a flashlight. He gasped at what he saw.
There was a tall, green-furred man dressed in a Santa claus outfit cleaning out the fridge!
"Hey!" Kev hissed, "Who the hell are you?"
The man turned, and gave Kev a sneer that would break any mirror.
"I'm the Grinch! Who are you?"
"Hey, get out of here! This is the North Pole, not Whoville!"
"Oh, sorry. Wrong story."
The Grinch slinked away, pouting.
Kev sighted. Now to get to work. He opened the fridge, and looked through the food that wasn't taken by the Grinch. He pulled out a large tupperware container, and opened it.
Inside the bowl was a large helping of spaghetti, already dusted with the special formula that let the raindeer fly when they ate it.
Kev grinned, and poured the contents into the bowl. As an afterthought, he saved a little of it, and poured it into a large jug of milk on the top shelf.
He stirred up the noodles, making sure his formula was mixed in well.
He replaced the bowl, and close the fridge. He let out a soft chuckle, and crept towards the door.
He paused at the front door for a moment. The two reindeer weren't sleeping anymore.
Kev could hear movement upstairs.
He was about to hide when he heard other strange noises from upstairs.
Groans, moans, and... were those bed springs squeaking?
Kev chuckled, and left.
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It was later that year that Trudy was born. Right away, Prancer and Vixen knew that she was no ordinary child.
For one, her skin had a strange, almost plastic-like sheen to it. And on top of that, it seemed like the little infant could stretch for miles, like rubber. Whenever the little child wanted something out of her reach, one of her little arms would stretch out like a giant rope, and grab it.
Not to mention the time she fell down a flight of stairs. She bounced all the way down, giggling.
As Trudy grew up, it became clear that she was different from the other reindeer.
Most of the time, she was made fun of, and called mean names.
Sometimes, however, she was invited to play games with the other reindeer, but not in the sense you'd expect.
She always ended up with an air hose in her mouth, being inflated into a ball for the other kiddies to play with.
It was like that for most of her life, until she grew up. Most of the reindeer who had been mean to her realized something. The sheen to her skin, the stretchyness, the inflatability...
Most of the reindeer sang a new tune now, chasing her all over the North Pole, fighting each other for a date.
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2 - Christmas in trouble
It was twenty years after Trudy's birth, and another five years before the birth of Rudolph.
Trudy was happily married to Comet, one of the older reindeer that pulled Santa's sleigh.
Little Kev was nowhere to be found. One of his pranks must have backfired somehow.
Apparently, polar bears don't like being lassoed, for some reason or another.
This christmas was to be different from all the others. First of all, Santa was in bed with a terrible cold, and it didn't look like he would be able to deliver the toys on schedule.
And Trudy's parents, Prancer and Vixen, were sick as well.
With two reindeer short, and no pilot, it seemed that the sleigh would not get off the ground, much less around the world to deliver the gifts.
So Trudy began working up an idea. Santa had been trying to teach her to fly the sleigh
in his spare time (something about letting her go out and search for Little Kev, so she could bring him back and Santa could whale the tar out of him), so she thought she knew enough about the sleigh to drive it. But that left two reindeer short still.
That's where I come in. I was in the North Pole on buisiness that day, treating Santa's illness. I'm Doctor Hugh McDonnel. I decided to help Trudy with her idea, and came up with an idea of my own.
The only mode of transportation I had at that time was a small snowmobile, so that couldn't help. But I thought of a different way to move the toys...
It took a few days to do, but it was done.
I called in a freind of mine from the USA, a baloonist from Arizona. He looked at the baloon
I had constructed, and whistled. "She's pretty big," he commented.
"Yeah, I know," a voice said from above, "Can I come down now?" The voice belonged to Trudy. I had filled her with helium, and attached her bloated body to the sleigh. It was basically a baloon now, perfect for airlifting the toys to the kids of the world.
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3 - Special delivery
On christmas eve, all was ready. The sleigh was packed, and ready to go.
Trudy was ready too, standing next to me.
My friend had gone back to the states, after teching me the art of flying a baloon.
"We set to do this?" She asked.
"Yeah. We sure are," I replied.
She took the hose fomr me, and put it in her mouth. I turned on the helium, and wrpped the straps around her that would hold her to the sliegh.
In a few moments, she was full enough to float off of the ground. Still she grew, rounder and larger, until the sleig started to lift off a few inches.
I climed into the sleigh, and waved goodbye to the crowd.
"Be careful!" Santa yelled. Then he broke down into a fit of coughing.
We will!" I called, as the sleigh lurched and shot upwards into the sky.
As we climbed higher into the sky, I turned off the helium flow.
She popped the hose from her mouth. "Are you sure this will work?" she asked.
"I'm very sure. There won't be a problem!"
"How do we get down, then?"
I frowned. How were we to get down?
"Uhhh, I'm not exactly sure, really."
"What?"
"Don't worry, I'll think of something."
"You better think fast, because I think I'm growing again!"
I looked up at her huge, round body. She was right. The decrease of pressure as we went higher up was making the gas inside of her expand. And quickly, too.
I had to do something, fast!
So I did the only thing I could think of.
I pulled one of the gifts out of Santa's bag, and opened it. It was a cordless vacuum cleaner, the batteries fully charged.
I took it and climbed up the rigging, all the way up to Trudy's backside, which was basically nothing but a round surface with two hoofs and a tight slit.
I pushed the vacuum into that slit as hard as I could. She let out a squeal of pleasure.
I hoped that the vacuum could handle liquids, as well as gasses...
I switched on the machine, and it let out a high pitched whine.
After a few moments, I saw that it was working. She was growing smaller, and I saw that we were no longer climbeing as fast as we were before.
In fact, we were doing downwards.
After a few moments, I saw the ground beneath us, growing closer and clsoer with every moment.
We landed, and I helped the still-swollen reindeer to the ground. She let the vacuum work for a few moments more, and the pulled it from herself.
She smiled at me. "You saved my life," she said.
"I did? I mean, yes, I did."
"It's going to be a little while before a recue team gets here from the workshop, you know,"
she said, winking at me.
"Umm, okay. Why do you say that?"
She grinned, and pushed me to the ground. She straddled me and gave me a long kiss on the lips.
"This is the North Pole. We have to keep warm somehow..."
"Oh," I said, smiling.
She winked at me, and kissed me again.
"Merry Christmas, Doc."
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EPILOGUE -
Okay, okay, so she didn't relly save christmas at all. But it all worked out, really.
Santa got better just in time to fly the trip, and Trudy took her true place as a reindeer, and helped pull the sleigh. They were still one short, but made the trip anyway.
Five years afterward, things had changed a bit. I was married to Trudy now, as a result of her getting divorced from Comet three years earlier. We were happy together.
And Trudy was even happier to hear that she would have a little brother.
We were there when Rudy was born. Cutest little guy you ever saw.
But as soon as that nose lit up, everyone looked around carefully, just to see if Little Kev
was hiding somewhere, laughing his ass off...
END